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2004.06.14 at 10:55 AM CDT
(Monday, June 14th, 2004)
So I'm here at work reading through my usual morning updates, news, statistics,
and so on, when I come across the daily Wired News email. It contained this
article about "Food Makers Changing Genes." The more I hear about this the
more that I am worried that we, as a human race, are fsck'ing with too much
without real knowledge or care of what could happen. Maybe I'm being too
paranoid. But I don't necessarily thing so. At any rate, it bears more
reading on my part sometime soon.
In other news Mojo's has improved
quality of service (QOS) rules on their firewall now. I spent some time adding
to and improving them yesterday. I need to do more testing and make sure that
I have an accurate idea of the raw speed of their DSL, but it seemed to be
helping quite a bit even while I had large upstream and downstream transfers
going.
At home I finally have my Dell PowerVault
715N set up and running. I'm no where near done getting things transferred
over (services, etc.) though I do have the initial data transfer done. The
output of /bin/df -hT looks as so:
[ jarehart@tavi 10:55am ttyp0
~ ] $ df -hT
Filesystem Type Size Used Avail Use% Mounted on
/dev/md2 ext3 3.0G 490M 2.3G 18% /
/dev/md0 ext3 68M 5.4M 59M 9% /boot
/dev/md1 ext3 68M 5.4M 59M 9% /boot2
/dev/md3 ext3 1.1G 33M 1.0G 3% /tmp
/dev/md4 ext3 1.3G 72M 1.1G 6% /var
/dev/md5 ext3 544G 119G 419G 23% /data
I expect I will be spoiled far too soon. :)
2004.05.17 at 12:24 AM CDT
(Monday, May 17th, 2004)
So a bit of an update, finally...
First, it appears that I have neighbors who have a wireless access point and
Road Runner. I can now sit in bed with the laptop without wires and
watch the blinky lights on my DSL modem and switch. :)
Second, the possible road trip mentioned several entries ago did indeed happen.
Five of us crammed in my car for the approximately seven hour drive to Marfa.
We were silly and cramped and had fun. Stereo Total was good, though the
sound guy didn't know what he was doing, much to the annoyance of the band
members. I did buy the two CDs they had with them and a t-shirt for my
co-worker, who wasn't able to attend. We dropped by the Marfa Lights viewing
point but found that the lights are most common just after sunset and just
before sunrise. As it was 1 AM or so, we decided to finish the drive to Alpine
(where our motel room was) and sleep. I did enjoy the dark, for the little bit
of time that I could. This included a couple of two to six second periods of
driving with only parking lights. :)
Third, I went with two friends to Enchanted Rock last
weekend. I was silly and didn't put on sunscreen until we'd been at the
top for about an hour. So I got sunburned. Whee... Anyway, we had a good
time, did some hiking, some boy-watching, and drank lots of water. We stayed
a bit past sunset, though it was partly cloudy, so the star viewing wasn't too
good. However, the view out the moon roof in my car on the drive back was
decent.
Fourth, as reported by CNN
and others,
Massachusetts has become the first state in the US to allow same
sex marriage. Now we get to see how much legal bullshit happens... In case
you can't tell, while I'd like to be, I'm not too optimistic.
Fifth, in roughly the last two to three weeks, I have developed another boy
interest. I have been asked to not talk about things that happened, so I will
be brief (and hope that this isn't divulging too much). I do not know if he is
interested in anything more than what already happened, and I have been silly
and not asked him yet. I would like to do so in person, though I don't often
see him in person. Suffice it to say, I had the more fun in bed than I have
had in a while. We just seemed to work together. At the same time, I'm trying
to not get my hopes up. Meanwhile, I have an email contact where I have been
the one not keeping up communication. I should work on that, too.
Sixth, in July I'm going to New York City for The 5th HOPE Conference and then
to Maine to visit my mom. I will be travelling from July 7th to about the 15th,
and think that I will have some sort of Internet access most of the trip.
Current music: various Paul Van Dyk
2004.05.11 at 06:10 PM CDT
(Tuesday, May 11th, 2004)
I will likely have time to write a bit more in a day or so... In the meantime
I wanted to pass the following announcement along. It is from a mailing list,
so you get to ignore the bits that don't make as much sense in this forum.
Out Youth Special Announcement
------------------------------
Out Youth Fund Raiser!
Dear Friends of Out Youth,
As many of you know Out Youth has been struggling through some difficult
financial waters. As the only social service organization in the Central Texas
region dedicated to the health and well being of GLBT youth, our programs and
services are vital to the community. This Thursday, May 13, Out Youth
co-founder Lisa Rogers will be hosting a benefit featuring The Therapy Sisters,
renowned Austin singer-song writer Nancy Scott, and a spoken performance piece
by one of Out Youth's own very talented youth. The benefit will be held at
Ventana del Soul located at 1834 East Oltorf at 7:00 PM. There is no
charge but a Love Offering would be gratefully appreciated. We would also
really, really (no, we mean it, we really would) appreciate it if you
could pass this announcement along to all your friends, family,
co-workers, e-mail lists, neighbors, people you meet in the grocery line
(well, you get the picture) as you possibly can. I can't tell you how
great a difference that can make. We look forward to seeing you there. If
you are unable to make it to the benefit but would still like to make a
donation, please click on the Out Youth
logo to go to our website. If you do not wish to continue receiving the
newsletter please either use the link at the end of the newsletter to
unsubscribe or contact us here and you will be promptly removed from the list.
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2004.04.22 at 10:50 PM CDT
(Thursday, April 22nd, 2004)
I went to see Stereo Total yesterday
evening at Emo's. I went with a
co-worker and some friends (from the usual caffeine hangout) and had a blast.
They're a lot of fun to see live. A few of us are considering a road trip
to Marfa for their show out there (this Saturday), though the verdict is still
very much out on that.
On a very different note... I've been thinking recently that I should more
clearly note, somewhere, why I like Debian
so much. The reasons can be listed pretty easily, though several of the
reasons aren't simple themselves. They are:
And now that I've been a geek at you... :-) Since I last wrote, I've
learned enough about the two boys I was still curious about to know that I'd
rather just be friends with both. I know one of them wants to be friends (we
hang out and such). The other may want something more akin to acquaintances,
which I can be OK with, though I still get the impression that I did/do bug or
annoy him somehow. If so, and you're reading, I'm sorry. (The former does the
"I'm a macho boy" thing a bit too much for me. As far as I'm concerned, I am
and would be interested in being his friend even without that; i.e. he doesn't
have to do that to impress me, though he probably has reasons if his own. The
latter and I don't really share enough interests to really work out as more
than friends, and don't really end up doing much of the same types of things
when just hanging out.) Anyway...
On a similar topic, I had hung out with a friend recently where the topic of
one night stands was mentioned, but not directly. I was thinking that I should
clarify my thoughts on that topic to him directly, but then figured that I'd
rather write about it. So, in a few sentences, why I rarely have a
one-night stand. Essentially, while I consider sex a lot of fun (obviously;
as I am human), it is not all that I'm after. I find myself far more satisfied
after sex with someone I'm romantically involved in. After a single night
type of thing, I'm don't find myself in the best of moods. I know what I would
rather have and I miss it (more in those cases). I know other people handle
this differently, and may not understand, but oh well... :-)
Finally, a couple of quickies. A friend relayed this news story
to me earlier today. And I again got somewhat pissed at the things that other
people find appropriate to try to legislate/legalize. I don't care if you
disagree with homosexuality, just don't legalize/practice discrimination. And
on a happier note, I've occasionally (over the past couple of weeks to couple
of months thought that I should figure out some way to involve music in my life
in a hobby or professional way. Maybe something related is a subject for which
I have the motivation to finish school? This requires more thought.
Current music: Placebo - Nancy Boy (up loud, in headphones)
2004.03.30 at 12:30 AM CST
(Tuesday, March 30th, 2004)
A bit of update on prior information.... I've not really talked to the boy
mentioned in the previous entry. He's still around, so I presume he's OK,
or at least mostly so. I don't know where he and I stand, if at all. And
I've not really tried to find out. Maybe I'll leave him voice mail at some
point. I don't think I did anything that would upset him, but I'm not
totally sure.... More likely, I think, is that he has things to deal with,
so I'll give him time.
In other news, LESSNetworks no
longer has Mojo's as a
hotspot. It is a long story that I won't go in to here, though no real
animosity or hard feelings on either side, from what I can tell. Bug me if
you're curious for what I know, which is assuredly not everything. The new
box is an easily maintainable distribution of Linux, with transparent Squid
caching, MRTG, and a few other niceties.
Earlier today at work I noticed myself again having to remind myself that
things were more stressful because of my lack of sleep, not because the tasks
at hand were particularly different or difficult. Such a situation means that
I have more negative thoughts than I like, which can start a bit of a spiral
down. I think I'm doing better at curbing them, but I still get a bit annoyed
at having to at all (if I'm explaining this with any clarity). To top it off,
so to speak, such situations are usually my own fault; for not sleeping
enough.
In entertainment news, I went to two birthday related events this weekend (and
ended up missing another due to being sleepy). I enjoyed both, and probably
gave a bit TMI about myself at the earlier of the two, but it was in fun.
*grin* The birthday boy at the second was trying to hook me up with another
of the guests. He later showed me a picture of a pretty cute guy. *another
grin* I just have to remind myself to let things happen as they will, see what
happens, and go about my life as usual, while not explicitly looking.
2004.03.18 at 12:55 AM CST
(Thursday, March 18th, 2004)
I'm up when I should be already done with laundry and sleeping, but oh well, I
guess. I as usual have stuff on my mind. Some annoying, and most just stuff
to ponder.
I ran in to one of the ex's mentioned a couple of entries previous. I wasn't
expecting to run into him, but it was overall OK. We caught up on quite a bit
which is good. Though as with dealing with a different of those mentioned
in the same entry (on his recent birthday), I was emotionally exhausted by the
time it was all done. I have an easier time with one of the two. Though I
think talking with a friend after this chance meeting helped. We'll see. The
annoying part is that I'm, and have been for a while, ready to not be so worn
out after seeing either of these two.
The stuff to ponder has to do with one of the boys who is/was interested in me.
I wasn't sure he still was until late last week. I found that he had been
wondering the same thing I had. Is there a second chance for us. It
appears that there may be, though I'm not yet sure if I think we can work
together. I think that's partially because I don't feel like I know how to
talk to him. For various reasons phone calls have usually been voice mails
in the past and most conversations have been at a mostly empty Mojo's. At
other times, I feel like I'm intruding into stuff he already has going, so I
keep to myself; which means that said conversations are not very common.
And toward the end of the evening yesterday, he looked quite upset about
something. I don't have any idea what, though I didn't really even get eye
contact as he left, which is OK but also a bit worrisome. I have no idea if I
could have been of help or comfort, so I just dunno...
Anyway, I should go sleep...
Current music: Two Mix - BPM, Best Files
2004.03.16 at 06:50 PM CST
(Tuesday, March 16th, 2004)
I have a bit of other stuff to post later, but first a meme from LJ:
To play "I Never," put an (X) in front of the things that you have never done
before and a ( ) on the things that you have done at least once. Add an "I
never" of your own.
( ) i never have been drunk
( ) i never have smoked pot
( ) i never have kissed a member of the opposite sex
( ) i never have kissed a member of the same sex
(X) i never crashed a friend's car
( ) i never have been to japan
( ) i never rode in a taxi
( ) i never had anal sex
( ) i never have been in love
(X) i never had sex with member of opposite sex
(X) i never have had sex in public
( ) i never have been dumped
(X) i never shoplifted
(X) i never have been fired
(X) i never have been in a fist fight
( ) i never had a threesome
(X) i never snuck out of my parents' house
(X) i never have been tied up
( ) i never have been caught masturbating
(X) i never pissed on myself
( ) i never had sex with a member of the same sex
(X) i never have been arrested
(X) i never made out with a stranger
( ) i never stole something from my job (I guess technically I have)
(X) i never celebrated new years in time square
(X) i never went on a blind date
( ) i never lied to a friend
( ) i never had a crush on a teacher
(X) i never celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
(X) i never have been to Europe
(X) i never skipped school
(X) i never slept with a co-worker
(X) i never cut myself on purpose
(X) i never had sex at the office
(X) i never got married
(X) i never got divorced
(X) I never have been fisted and/or have never fisted anyone
(X) I never have thrown up in a bar
( ) I never have had road rage
( ) I never put an LJ meme in my journal
2004.02.23 at 03:54 AM CST
(Monday, February 23rd, 2004)
Some quick updates...
I went to see My Architect with
my dad at the Dobie
Theater earlier today. If you're into architecture and/or Louis I. Kahn,
then you may quite enjoy the film; I know I did.
Next, I finally had a chance to play with the Atheros chipset based 802.11a/b/g
wireless card I ordered from NetGate.
The madwifi driver
appears to work just fine for simple use. I've not yet tried WEP or anything
else. I know a few things aren't yet supported. We'll see how it does as I
try it in different locations. I'll also be able to try 11a/g for the first
time.
Also, I've made very little to no progress on the to do list from my last post,
though I have made a bit of progress on the boy situation. I think I've made
the point to one that I don't want him to flirt so much. I've also figured
that one of the others was indeed interested and we've talked about things.
And now I'm off to sleep...
Current/earlier music: Loreena McKennitt - The Book of Secrets
2004.02.04 at 02:25 AM CST
(Wednesday, February 04th, 2004)
So I'm here at the computer after some Mojo's-ing, a snack at Wan Fu, and some
avoiding of laundry... And I, take a guess, have boys on the mind again. Go
figure.
There's the one where we both had some initial interest and other events
prevented any real dates from happening. And now I'm not sure if I want to
pursue anything or not. He does give great hugs. :-)
There's the one where we met and flirted that and the next several times
we interacted. Then we ended up on a what I thought was a good, but impromptu
date (that he didn't really want to call a date). Then I see that he would
rather casually date several people that he apparently finds attractive, so I,
not being interested in just casual dating, decide not to pursue things any
further. Yet he continues to flirt (or try to anyway) in what I interpret as
a more than friendly way.
Finally, there's the one with whom I have, so far, only interacted as friends,
though based on the way he acts and talks recently, I get the slight impression
that he's curious about more. How curious? I don't know.
I don't know what I'm going to do about any of these at the moment... I'm back
and forth between letting things happen as they will and pushing in one
direction or another. Such fun is this decision making.
And on to the to-do list:
- Move the workstation at home back to the two PCI video cards that work
(since I don't game anyway) for dual monitor support and working TV/VCR/DVD
input.
- Get the hardware and upgrades necessary to put the new storage plan for
the house into effect and then do so.
- Start running again (in the evenings) as well as doing appropriate
warm-ups and stretches.
- Finish updates to the rest of this website.
2003.12.31 at 04:05 AM CST
(Wednesday, December 31st, 2003)
Why can I not get to the point where random strangers don't keep reminding me
of one of the ex-boyfriends (or how do I get to that point)? Why do I keep
wondering if one of the ex's and I could date again, but yet I never discuss
it with him? Why am I so intrigued by the one that still seems, from my
perspective, to still be physically attracted to me even though I doubt we'd
ever date again?
I've dated (more than two dates; where we were exclusive) a grand total of
five men. Yes, that's it folks, just five. Of those, I fell hard for two;
and am still somewhat in touch with four.
Current mood: brooding / thinking
Current music: the hum of computing equipment in my bedroom
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